Look, no one wants to be caught jerking off to your favorite PornHub video. But even if you are caught, there’s a huuuge difference between where you’re caught. It’s embarrassing to be caught tuggin’ your tool at home, it’s even worse being caught at your place of work.

40-year-old Irish citizen Alan Hawe, a deputy principal, was caught playin’ with his peter at the school he worked at. Apparently, it wasn’t the first time either. His impulsive desire to view porn and fud himself stupid had driven a wedge between him and his wife. His stellar reputation as a community member, according to a counseling session with his psychiatrist, was in doubt.

“People think of me as a pillar of the community. If only they knew.”

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What his psychiatrist probably should have mentioned is that it’s far better to be known as a porn-viewing-work-jerker than as a mass murderer.

On August 29, 2017, Hawe entered his home in Oakdene Downs and used knives, a hatchet, and his bare hands in order to take the lives of his wife, Clodagh, 39, and his sons, Liam, 13, Niall, 11, and Ryan, 6, before taking his own life.

Their bodies were discovered by Clodagh’s mother.

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Though there was no one alive to be held accountable, a jury of six women and one man returned verdicts of “unlawful killing of Mrs Hawe and her three boys,” and “suicide in the death of Mr Hawe.”